But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
