we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize