There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
