He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
