I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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