If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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