The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
