walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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