Cold hands, warm shart.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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