you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
