I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
