A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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