A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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