38 yer olds are good kisserssss
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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