My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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