the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
