You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
