Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
