my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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