it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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