problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
