I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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