DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
