just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
