Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
