im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
