she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
