I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
