We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize