as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
