the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
And then he peed in my hair
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