Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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