i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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