Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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