That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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