using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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