Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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