My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
