You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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