Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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