I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
