What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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