Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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