oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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