i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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