Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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