she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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