Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
