You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
