I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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