Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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