Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
