Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
