we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize