Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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