I just threw up on my dentist
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
