I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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