I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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