Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
