You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
